What I love about this little question is that it doesn't ask what you wanted to be, but who. It doesn't ask what you wanted to do, or see or have. To me it asks what kind of person you wanted to be. What did you want people to think of when you came to mind?
Really consider the question, dig a little deeper and try to remember. When you hit upon the truth, don't be surprised if you feel a quickening in your spirit...a tug at your heart because no matter how much we've been tossed about in life our hearts know who we were meant to be.
So here's my big confession for today: Things happened in my life during the past few years that changed me in ways I don't like. I am far more cynical than I like to admit. I find that I'm hesitant to be involved, fearful of losing more but lately I've been feeling ready to move forward.
For everything there is a season...
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance...
(Ecclesiastes 3:1a & 4)
I'm not meant to stay in a place of mourning indefinitely and, quite frankly, I'd very much like to enter a season of laughter and dancing!
So who exactly did I want to be? I wanted to be someone who loves fearlessly and tenaciously. I wanted to use my gifts and talents to bring a little bit of heaven to this earth. That's what I wanted then and in my heart of hearts that's what I want now.
Of course, now that I've bared my soul (which took a fair amount of fearlessness, I must say), I just have to ask: Who did you want to be?